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You’re A Single Mom, Now What?

February 21, 2018

 

Whether your new found title as a single-mom came as a shock or you chose it, being a single mom comes with its own unique set of challenges. Yep, that’s right, you will be the one taking out the trash, walking the dog, making breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Doing the laundry, helping with homework, taking and picking up the kids from school, and just when you think you have nothing else to give, you will be tucking the kiddo’s in at night all by yourself.

Maybe you were already used to being the one that accomplished all those tasks for your kids anyway. Maybe you had a spouse that used to help with the kids and the household chores. But now it’s all you. You may still be in a fog, reeling from the chaos that your new reality has stirred up.

Take a deep breath, I am here to share proven strategies that will not only help you get through it but ensure that your soul will be intact.

1. You Are Number One 

What I mean by that is, if mom is not good then the kids will not be good. Your kids feed off of your emotions. You must not only put yourself on the list, but you have to be at the top of the list. How will you be able to be an intentional parent if you are anxious, frazzled and worn out?  You must not neglect yourself in the process. This may sound self-serving but it’s about having your priorities set up to succeed. The last thing any mom wants is to feel as if she is failing.

2. Getting your Zzzz’s

Making sure you get enough sleep is essential. You can’t be at your best if you are dragging from lack of sleep. Sleep is when our bodies regenerate and repair.  You need this downtime so you will be refreshed to accomplish the tasks of the next day. The laundry and dirty dishes can wait, if they have to.

Your kids don’t benefit from your perfectionism as much as they do from having a mom that is fully engaged in their daily lives.

3. De-stress 

Single motherhood can be a time that is riddled with stress. From worrying about having enough money to pay your bills to have to stay late at work and not knowing how you’re going to pick up your kids. For this reason, it is beneficial for you to find ways to unwind and rid your body of the stress. Stress hormones can wreak havoc on your body. This is why it’s important to find ways to create balance.

One of those ways that can be simple is to take a walk. You can make it a part of your evening routine with the kids. Get them on their bikes, scooters or skateboards and breathe in the fresh air and exhale the craziness of your day.

Physical exercise releases endorphins. This is the cheapest and easiest way to make a bad day good.

4. Time Management

You have to learn to manage your time well. We all get the same 24 hours in a day and yet some people get more accomplished with less hassle than others. Why is that? It starts the night before. At the end of the day, start by going over in your mind the next day’s events and prioritize them according to “absolutely has to get done” to “I want to get it done, but I will survive if it doesn’t.” Then, if you need to see it in writing, go ahead a make a list of the next day’s events on paper. This also helps when we write things down. The information gets embedded in our brain and we are better able to remember the list without seeing it.

These are just a few key areas’s that will need to be addressed and reevaluated as time goes on. Your kids will grow older and the demands change.

I heard it said, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. I want all you Mama’s to succeed, so plan on ways to fit in daily exercise and a good night sleep.

One of my very favorite ways to de-stress every night was to sit in a nice warm bubble bath. It may sound silly but this was how I worked out all the day’s trouble. This was a moment I could take for myself. I would have a book, self-help or parenting of course, and be able to get in a chapter or two before I became waterlogged.