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Feeling The Weight Of Loss

November 7, 2018

They say the one thing we can count on in life is change. Every second of every minute of every hour, life is changing. This is a good thing. I can’t imagine a life where time stands still and there is no forward motion. There would be no adventure, no excitement, no joy or the thrill of anything new. Life would stagnate, and be boring. I’m glad God didn’t create a world like that. But, with change also comes the feeling of loss.

Anyone who lives has also lost. I can think way back to my childhood and losing our family dog or my cherished cat. Somehow these losses didn’t seem to faze me, even then. Even when my grandmothers passed away when I was an adolescent it seemed natural. Old people are supposed to die. I know we all will die eventually.

The day I became a single mom was a loss I wasn’t ready for. I’m not sure any single mom ever is. It doesn’t usually make the Christmas wish list.

It has taken years to process the loss of a husband, father, and partner. Dealing with the loss of a dream and being able to tweak my perspective to see the good that came from that situation has taken time.

I’m certain I would not be the woman I am today had I, not been a solo parent. Even if I was kicking and screaming a lot at my new title. I didn’t see it as a badge of honor then, but I do now.

“You and I cannot change or control the world around us, but we can change the world within us.” 

I like this quote because it sums up what happened to me. I went from being a caterpillar to a butterfly. I believe we all have the capacity to be a butterfly in this life. What will it take? What is your wake up call? When will the rubber hit the road for you, or has it already happened? Is the transformation of your soul happening this very moment?

At some point, I believe God calls us all to look within and know that this is where true change has to begin. No longer can we focus on what someone else is or isn’t doing for us. The better question is, what are we doing to change our own lives? Because at the end of the day the only thing we can change is ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, and actions about a situation.

This week I lost a very dear person in my life. He probably never knew the impact he had on my life. He was a true picture of unconditional love. A constant that I didn’t intend on being without even when he was without me after I changed churches. He was my Pastor of 24 years. He married me and baptized each of my daughters. No, he wasn’t perfect, but he was always there.

I don’t think we fully realize the impact a person has had on our life until we lose them. Then we can begin the grieving process.

Maybe life is a constant cycle of living and losing? Even in the losing, we can choose joy and in the living, we can spread joy.

May your joy be full!